Limericks (Group 3)

This is the last group of limericks I will be doing. At least for this exploration. They were a nice, fun break, after the long, and sometimes intensive concentration that the sonnets required. (Though I will say finding rhymes that are also humorous, as per these limericks, or not as easy as it may appear. Probably why the form has endured for all these years.) Next week I will have moved on to a new form. But I have had a lot of innocent fun with these limericks, and will certain return to writing them again someday.

*

I painted a capital "A"
On the roof of my condo one day.
My Mom said to me, "Will you now paint a "B"?
And I told her, "Not until May."

*

If ever you travel to Maine
And meet a masseuse named Lorraine,
Bid her good day, then run far away.
I know her. She's clearly insane.

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As an actor I fall into rage
At people (regardless of age)
That let their phone ring and don't silence the thing
While I try to perform on the stage.

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I wonder if all of the ducks
Could fit into all of the trucks.
We'll never find out beyond shadows of doubt,
And I really think that kind of sucks.

*

Writing limericks should always be fun.
Your stress level drops down to none.
No need for "sublime". You need only to rhyme.
Four silly lines, and you're done. 

Limericks (Group 2)

Continuing with some limericks. Next week will probably be my last set of limericks for a while. Again, their point being to ease the transition between more difficult forms.

But for now, enjoy a few more!

*

The piñata I hung in my room
Is more boring than one would assume.
It collects too much dust. It's too hard to bust,
Filled with candy i cannot consume.

*

A singer who called himself Steven
Had a voice that was rather uneven.
He got punched in the mouth when he traveled down south
And massacred "Don't Stop Believin'".

*

And Englishman wore a disguise,
To give his good wife a surprise.
A fake beard and a wig, while dancing a jig.
But his wife didn't fall for his lies.

*

The door at the end of the hall
Was painted at the end of last fall.
It used to be green, but when it was seen
Nobody had liked it at all.

*

I met a young girl from Dubai
Who was born on the Fourth of July.
She said, "No big deal. That day lacks appeal."
Then she shrugged and bid my goodbye. 

Limericks! (Group 1)

After an enjoyable but at times taxing exploration of sonnets, I wanted to move to a lighter, more fun poetry form, to give both myself, and any of you readers a break from the most complex poems. What better choice for such a task than limericks.

I won't stay on them for long, maybe two or three weeks or a few grouped together. Though traditionally and technically limericks are supposed to be off-color or down right dirty in order to challenge a societal taboo, I won't be producing any dirty ones. Scholars and and more "famous" poets contend that the true wit of a limerick is lost when it is clean. I'm not prude, but I see few things less clever than dirty jokes/limericks. After all, just how many times can references to sex and genitalia be either entertaining or socially satirical? If I'm going to have a chuckle over some nonsense I'm writing, it's going to be about something a bit more creative, or at least surreal, than dick jokes. Sorry, scholars. You can be clever without being pornographic. So that's what I'm doing, as it is my site for my poems.

The limerick has been around since the early 1700's, it seems. For those who don't know, the rhyme scheme is AABBA. The meter is either anapestic or amphibrachic, for those into that sort of thing. But if you've ever heard a limerick, you know what the rhythm is, even if you don't know the name for it.

That's all the scholarly attention I'm going to give to it. As far as I'm concerned, they should be goofy and fun. That's certainly why I chose them for this brief exploration.

Here are my first group of five.

*

I went to New York on a dare.
(Though I don't know a soul living there.)
Spent all day on my feet while walking the street
'Cuz no cabby take poems for fare.

*

A priest poured a rabbi a drink,
But he spilled it all into the sink.
His friend said, "oy vey" and then walked away
And their friendship remains on the brink.

*

There once was a jackass named Brian.
If he was talking you knew he was lyin'.
He'll steal all your food, put you in a foul mood
And you'll hate him without even tryin'.

*

A man put his horse on the stage.
(He thought it would be all the rage.)
It took a big dump, and it never did jump,
So the man's wife said, "Jake, act your age."

*

Once an old man with a limp
Decided he wanted a blimp.
But the price was too high for the poor man to buy.
So he paid for it being a pimp.